Christmas Cheer

Well tonight is Christmas Eve, and my 24 year old family tradition of hanging out was rescheduled due to "inconvenience"- which is ridiculous to me- but anyway, it was decided that we would instead hang out this past Sunday. I should clarify- it was decided weeks ago that today would be inconvenient, so we planned to hold the gathering in advance of Christmas Eve. If it were possible for my family to decide the day of an event that it should have been held in the past, and agree to pretend as if it had happened, then we would probably all be much happier people. Anyway, the event, as it happened, was fine, seemed normal- but one thing did happen that really made me look forward to our big, extended family get together tomorrow.

I think it's funny to say things to my brothers and parents that maybe (definitely) shouldn't be said. I hadn't been to see my parents in about a month, so my Dad was harassing me and asking me what I'd been doing. I said "You know me, blowing random dudes." Now- this normally wouldn't be a surprising or offensive answer, but since our extended family was around, my Mom felt the need to loudly chastise me by raising her voice and saying my full name. "Jennifer. JEAN. BLOOMER."

I accepted her response because she wants my family to think she's raised a nice, mature young woman. They all know I'm a weirdo, but whatever helps her sleep at night. The thing about my Mom that always gets me is that she tries to put on a facade of normalcy for my family- but she says the most fucked up shit in such a matter-of-fact way that they have to know she's a punisher. This has never happened in such a clear way as it did Sunday night.

We were all sitting around, enjoying a very delicious lasagna dinner (which I enjoyed thoroughly) when the subject of my Uncle's new found position within the Catholic Church was brought up for discussion. Of course, he wasn't present, but my Grandma told us all that he was now an Usher. Everyone in my family has an opinion, but mostly my Aunt's husband and Mom. They both started discussing the Catholic Church, and the donations Ushers apparently ask for. I have no idea about any of this, because the most experience I have with Catholicism is lying about having been confirmed in order to be my cousin's confirmation sponsor a few years back... whenever that old pope died. ANYWAY, everyone was chiming in and complaining when my Mom said "I'm not going to donate money to the church so they can RAPE OUR LITTLE BOYS".

UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH. Awkward! She said it so nonchalantly... I laughed pretty hard.

I can't believe I got scolded for blow jobs but she dropped the child rape bomb right in the middle of our delicious meal!

Totally weird. Hopefully she does more of that stuff tomorrow!