Possible Voyeur

I (maybe, possibly) watched two strangers have sex on my couch last night. I'm really not sure, and I was not drinking at all.

I'm blind without my glasses on, and when I'm half asleep, it's even worse. My roommate (who is out of town) asked me if a friend of his could stay over on his way to the airport. I said sure, and my roommate told me that his friend would be by our place pretty late and leave pretty early. I could care less who comes in and out of my house as long as I'm not expected to entertain them, so I naturally didn't care at all.

Well, when I am sleeping I do not have the luxury of memories, vision, or reason. Last night I woke up at about 3:30 am and I was very disappointed to learn that I had to pee. Fortunately, before I go to sleep I look like a very hot and sexy model, so I was wearing Big Dog boxer shorts and my hair was styled in the signature "alien top ponytail" I rock nocturnally. I lumbered out of my room and noticed what appeared to be two blurs on my couch. I'm not 100% on that, it could have been one long blur with a big fluffy brown top, but it seemed like two blurs. I stood there squinting and the blur(s) seemed to acknowledge my stunningly beautiful presence. I was piecing it all together, but in the meantime trying to discern the creature(s) on the couch so I really craned my neck and squinted super hard. I was tired and had to pee too much to use my "hand glasses" move, which you don't want to see if you never have. It's sexy, but too much for the average bear.

ANYWAY, I just peed (in the bathroom, not while I was potentially watching strangers bang on my couch) and went back to bed.

I didn't really think about it until this morning, but it really did seem like one of the blurs was mounting the other blur, and if that is what was going on, I stood there staring at it. There are a lot of potential "Your roommate is fucking weird, man" stories going around right now.

WEIRD.