Today a tenant who is apparently as nosy and untrusting of adolescent males in baggy jeans as yours truly came in to ask me what was up with the kids on the property. I immediately became excited, glared, and said in a sharp whisper "What did you see? What. Did. They. Doooooooo?"
Well, it turns out these little fuckers have some kind of a band going on in there. I don't think it's the awesome band Whiplash, so they can't keep this shit up. Maybe if they were nice, but since they decided to have a low(er) rent Rage Against The Machine attitude with me, I'll pull the plug on their shitty band and ruin all of their future vagina earnings.
The tenant said "I heard a drum beat, but it went on for a bit and it stopped. I got an earful, it's not bad!" This guy drives a "tricked out" probe and calls it a whip, so I'll have to take it for what it's worth. These children definitely pissed in a bottle back there, so when I catch them covering Static X songs I'm going to make one of them drink it. Then I'm going to smack one of them with a fish. I'll show them some Led Zeppelin rock and roll shit. I'll get black dog on their "where did this hair come from" asses all day long. Try me.
Anyway, now I am more determined than ever to catch these little fucks.
The only way they can stay is if they let me join the band and be my friends and finally let me be myself again, a.k.a. wear my JNCOs and watch Pat Tondreau aggressive Rollerblade outside of Westland City Hall. I will wax the curb eternally.
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1 comment:
dude, i want you to catch them so bad now...it's like the only thing i have going for me right now, so if you can catch them doing something fucked up and scare the shit out of them, it will make my life.
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