Ha-rumph.

The first time I ever really kissed a guy with tongue I was in my parents' basement attempting to sneak some cookies while he went to the bathroom. He got back more quickly than I anticipated and ended up shoving his tongue in a mouth full of chewed cookie. Today I noticed that he has a picture of himself with a faux hawk holding some sort of huge snake around his neck. I'd like to thank social networking sites for taking a gross situation and making it completely vomit inducing.